Super Smash Bros: The Brawl For The Million
by Xpyro125
Summary: Twenty competitors in a reality game show fight in many random challenges and Redemption Smashes, and going tooth and nail, to the wire for one million... What ever the currency the winner uses. The Hands, Pyro, and Star host the toughest, sickest, most disturbing fight for the riches, and the players will do anything for the million.


**Author's Note:**

Heyooo! Now I know what you're thinking, 'Don't you already have a Smash Bros story that's a reality game show just like this one that you're making?'

Yes. Er, I did. I deleted it because it was total garbage that made no sense, plot twists all over, and characters from everywhere else you haven't even heard of. I'm redoing the game, gonna take it easy. Pyro and Star will still be here, don't worry. :3

And for those of you who don't know who they are:

Star is the older brother, a mage so focused in his studies it's not funny. Well, it's kinda funny when he fails to control his younger brother. He shows no aspects  
of trying anything romantic, perverted, or sexual unless if it's to make people shocked to the extremes since he is of the archetype of Lute, Robin, and many Fire Emblem mages. Except he has some personality- JK! XD They have personality! He just loves shock value.

Pyro is the younger brother, who desperately needs _successful_ anger management (Because it's not working), his pills, and more things to help control him. He is a swordmaster, and is the polar opposite of his brother in a shitload of ways. He curses a LOT, he loves looking at women (despite having a girlfriend), and is probably pictured to be way too much like Eminem... JK! He's extremely random, unpredictable, holds a grudge, and will beat the shit out of any jackass who deserves it... Not that Star wouldn't. But he's always the first punch.

Huh, Master Hand and Crazy Hand are pretty similar to them actually. Except, none of the romantic/perverted/sexual shit... Because they're hands and... Well, yeah.

Let's move on to the story!

* * *

"Heeeeello everyone! I'm CRAZY and-"

"Hey, Crazy you're drunk, go home bro." Pyro said. "Okay everyone! Let's get our fighters!" He passed the mic to Master Hand. He only did because he's getting paid though.

"Thank you! We're going to have a mix of the original characters, melee introduced, brawl introduced, and one debut mid-season for 20 characters. They will all fight for one million dollars... In whichever frickin' currency they use. They will compete in challenges, then vote each other out one-by-one until one is crowned the Final Smasher." Master Hand said. "First up! Mario, Link, Samus, DK, Fox, Pikachu, Kirby, and Yoshi!"

The eight fighters walked in and sat in their seats.

"Our Melee introduced! Bowser, Ganondorf, Mewtwo, Zelda, Sheik, Roy, and Marth!" Master Hand said.

The seven walked in and then took their seats.

"Our Brawl introduced! Ike, Lucario, Snake, and Wolf!" Master Hand said.

The four walked in and took their seats.

"Okay, here's how it's going to work. You're all going to be exploring the mansion and taking dorms while we randomly assign you to each team. My dumbass brother forgot to fuckin' make them." Star said.

"Shut up fucker, we were supposed to do that together!" Pyro said.

"Actually that was your job Pyro." Master Hand said. "Star, you were supposed to watch Crazy."

"... Oh... Shit..." Star said. "Okay, new plan everyone! While we assign teams, you're going to find Crazy who's playing Hide-And-Seek! The first one to KO him and bring him to me will win their team immunity!"

Everyone looked through the mansion to find him.

"Done." Star said.

"Well... Screw you." Pyro said.

"We might as well make them together." Star suggested.

"Fine." Pyro replied.

* * *

Mario and Bowser looked through the mansion.

"Okay, I know we aren't exactly 'friends', but you want to make an alliance to get to the final two?" Mario asked.

"Why would I do that? You always beat me, what'll make this any different?" Bowser asked.

"If I win, I'll buy you 500,000 coins worth of Burger Toad orders." Mario replied.

"... I do love Burger Toad... Deal." Bowser said and they walked to find Crazy Hand.

* * *

Marth, Roy, and Ike all walked to find Crazy Hand.

"Guys, we should make an Alliance." Marth said.

"Save it for someone else. I don't play by alliances, unless if we are allies." Ike said.

"Well... Isn't that the root word of alliance?" Roy asked.

"... I mean allies in a different sense." Ike replied. "The point is, we will have to turn on each other anyways. There is little point."

"Well, we could get farther in the game by having a majority vote." Roy said.

"You know a lot about the game.." Marth said.

"I do research." Roy said.

"... We'll see how threatening everyone else is. then I'll decide." Ike concluded.

* * *

Link and Sheik looked for Crazy Hand.

"You aren't concerned about Zelda being with Ganondorf?" Sheik asked.

"I sent Samus and Fox to keep him in line." Link replied.

"Hmm... They're mercenaries though." Sheik said.

"I paid them. And they have a currency exchange shop here. Wait. That's where Crazy is! He's running it! Shit!" Link said and they started running.

* * *

Lucario, Mewtwo, and Pikachu walked into the currency exchange shop.

"Welcome! Care to exchange your money?" Crazy said. He was wearing a fake mustache.

"Are you Crazy Hand?" Lucario asked.

"Nope!" Crazy replied.

"Crazy doesn't have a mustache! You dumb-dumb!" Pikachu said, and Mewtwo ripped it off.

"..."

"?"

"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWW!" Crazy yelled and charged out of the store.

"Damn it Mewtwo..." Lucario said.

"Well... Shit." Pikachu said.

* * *

Confessional: Lucario

"I honestly wish I could say Mewtwo expected that... But he didn't. Then again, Crazy is the most unpredictable thing in this universe... I wonder how many drugs he's on..."

"This powder tastes so weirdly gooood!" Crazy yelled from his room.

"Crack, that certainly explains a lot."

* * *

"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWW!" Crazy yelled as he charged at Kirby and Yoshi.

"Crap!" Yoshi yelled, then Kirby inhaled the hand. "Oh... Smart!"

Kirby muttered something inaudible and they ran back to the start.

"Star! We got him!" Yoshi said.

"Really?" Star asked.

Kirby tried to spit him out, but instead spat out a note saying 'Lol' then signed by Wolf.

"I got him!" Wolf said and put him down.

"THEY RIPPED OFF MY MUSTACHE AND IT HUUUUUURTS!" Crazy yelled.

"Yep, that's him." Master Hand said. "Wolf wins for his team!"

* * *

Confessional: Wolf

"Dumbasses. I snatched Crazy, stuck a note and a 200 pound weight in Kirby's mouth, tranked the Hand, then won. It's pretty easy when everyone else does the work for you."

* * *

"Okay! Here are the teams!" Pyro said. "On Team Phoenix! Roy, Mario, Sheik, Link, Ike, Lucario, Marth, Zelda, Fox, and Samus!"

"On Team Amarok! Bowser, Kirby, Pikachu, Mewtwo, DK, Ganondorf, Snake, Wolf, and Yoshi!" Star said.

"There is a twist to this game. The winning team vote for one on the losing team. The losing team votes for the other. Then the two voted will do a smash battle, and whoever wins will stay to compete for the one million moneys. Whoever loses will be banished." Pyro said. "You will have two hours to discuss who to vote into the Redemption Smash!"

* * *

Confessional: Donkey Kong

"When they say Redemption Smash... Does that mean we failed?"

* * *

Team Amarok went to their dorm and each sat on their beds.

"Who are we going to vote in?" Yoshi asked.

"We should vote in a tough fighter." Wolf said.

"I think we should vote in either Ike or Samus then." Pikachu said.

"Link is very resourceful and is strong, we should vote him in." Ganondorf said.

"We should convince someone on the other team to vote in someone tough then vote in Link." Bowser said.

* * *

Confessional: Bowser

"I would say to vote in Mario, but I really want 500,000 coins worth of Burger Toad... I wonder if he'd buy me some Twinkies too..."

* * *

"I think we should vote in Samus. Her tactics are really good, and I overheard them saying they'd vote in Link, so either way that's one really resourceful player going home." Roy said.

"I second that." Lucario said.

"Fine, I'll take the challenge." Samus said.

"Well, that settles it." Marth said.

* * *

Confessional: Roy

"I've set it up so Samus would go in, and all we needed was for her to say yes. By her giving the consent, no counter-argumetnt that'd change our minds, this'll either be suicide for her, or it'll place a huge target on her ass... Those her ass itself is a target for guys like Ike and Snake anyways, so... Y'know..."

* * *

"Team Amarok. You have voted and made a decision." Master Hand said. "And by unanimous vote... Link. You will be fighting in the Redemption Smash."

"Okay." Link replied.

"Why Link?" Pyro asked.

"He is very resourceful, balanced, and he's great tactician, making him dangerous in this game." Kirby responded.

"Team Phoenix. You have voted and made a decision." Master Hand said. "Also by unanimous vote... Samus."

"Why did you vote for yourself, Samus?" Star asked.

"They want me in, I'll be up to the challenge. If I win, I haven't voted for anyone, so I don't have any enemies." Samus responded.

"In each Redemption Smash there is a twist in the game mode. In this one, you will be fighting with Beam Swords. However, Link will have to wear a Zero Suit, and Samus will have to wear a Green Tunic." Master Hand said.

They nodded in understanding.

"You both can practice in five smash battles each. You may only go against players on your team for practice, and most importantly, not each other." Master Hand said.

"And may the drunkest Hand win!" Crazy said.

"I thought you put him on anesthetics.." Star whispered.

"I did..." Master said.

* * *

Confessional: Link

"Sure, this sucks. But I have to win. So, I'm practicing against Fox since he's the closest match to Samus. She's fighting Roy, though he doesn't have the equipment I do."

* * *

Confessional: Samus

"Link is a pretty close match for me. Am I nervous? Sure. Can I do this? Yes."

* * *

"Okay, this is a three stock match!" Master Hand said. "Beam swords will spawn and you can only attack with a beam sword."

"Okay! I want a good, dirty fight, lots of hits below the belt- especially his-, some bloody face shots, and most importantly, that Zero Suit to not be on Link, it's disturbing me man." Crazy said.

"I hear you buddy. Though it'll be great for fan service!" Pyro said. "Look at all these Link fangirls! And perverts..." He pointed to the monitor that showed the viewers.

"Sign my copy of Hyrule Warriors!"

"I can finally get an upskirt of Samus, bro."

"How about you both take some Tylenol PM, then I can take you two girls to my van?"

"Yeeeeaaa... Just fight." Pyro said.

Link and Samus both picked up a beam sword.

"Unlike in most smash battles, these beam swords will cut through clothing, and maybe flesh. It hasn't been safety tested." Star said.

"Actually, I did." Pyro said.

"Really?"

"I killed three interns. D:" Pyro said.

"Shit." Star said.

"But that's only if you put nail polish on them!" Pyro said.

"Nail polish?" Star asked.

"I wanted to look preeeeetty. :3" Crazy said.

"Oh." Star replied.

Link swung at Samus, who dodged, and tried to counter, but Link also dodged. He slashed at her chest, and ended up ripping the tunic.

"Oh, fuck you, you fucking pervert." Samus said.

"Ow, that hurt." Link said.

"Not you, the guy typing." Samus said.

"And me. :3" Pyro said.

"Note that, these outfits are spares and not the ones they normally wear." Star said.

"It'd be funny if it was the ones they normally wore!" Pyro said.

They exchanged slashes, eventually launching each other, when they eventually got to one life each.

"This fight scene needs to be longer! We're only at 2,000 words!" Pyro said.

"And uncut!" Crazy said.

"..."

Link ran behind her and cut down the tunic, causing the whole thing to fall off, since the sleeves were already cut off.

"You perv." Samus said.

Pyro fell over, and was nose bleeding on the floor.

"Is this really how we want the fan base to see us?" Star asked.

Link took the opportunity to hit her, like it was the Home-Run bat and launched her off.

"LINK IS THE WINNER!" Pyro yelled, standing up with a bloody tissue stuck in his nose.

"However, as a twist, Samus will stay in the mansion, because there is an immunity idol to protect yourself from going into a Redemption Smash, and two resurrection idols, to come back into the game. She will be able to look for them!" Star said. "You may all go to your rooms, though Samus will go to the dormitory of eliminated competitors."

* * *

Confessional: Ganondorf

"Unfortunately, I was hoping Samus would win. However, I will be looking for the idols. Because if anyone can beat Link, it's Samus."

* * *

Confessional: Mewtwo

"Unfortunately, we can't go to the second floor until the next person is eliminated. Shame, shame, shame."

* * *

"Since we only have 2,200 words or something like that due to a LAZY ASSHOLE we will have two people eliminated today." Pyro said.

"What is it now?" Ganondorf asked.

"Your worst fear." Star said.

"What?" Mario said.

"Cooking." Master Hand said.

Everybody popped up.

"Just kidding! That'll happen in a late chapter." Pyro said. "We're going to reveal embarrassing secrets about each fighter and if they can admit to it, they get a point. First to five wins."

"Round one! This fighter had sex with Sheik many years ago, despite being committed to Lilina." Star said. "If you would be verbal and say it loud and clear that it's you, that'd be great."

"..."

"I did..." Roy said, his head hanging down.

"Wouldn't blame you." Pyro said, and Sheik shot a death glare at him.

"Round two! This fighter is engaged to one Princess, yet in love with another." Star said.

"That's me- but I never agreed to it!" Link said.

"You're only digging your grave deeper." Pyro said.

"Round three! This fighter once accidentally swallowed one of Peach's 'personal items' and was scarred for life." Star said.

"Personal items?" Mario asked.

"You don't wanna know what I mean." Star said.

"It was very traumatic..." Yoshi said.

"Round four! This fighter is secretly in love with Krystal." Star said.

"Well, it's not a secret that it's me." Fox said.

"_Not you._" Pyro said and smiled.

"WHAT?!"

"That would be me." Mewtwo said.

"Score is 2-2!" Master Hand said.

"Round five! This fighter once had a thing for Link many years ago, to the point of where they even went to Hyrule to stalk him on his journey." Star said.

"Bro, I thought that was Ganondorf!" Link said.

"I was waiting in that damn tower waiting for Kakariko Fried Cuckoo." Ganondorf said. "It's been 17 years and I haven't gotten it yet!"

"Herrro?" Pyro asked.

"Who was that?" Star whispered in Pyro's ear so nobody could hear him.

"Lucario." Pyro whispered and nobody heard them.

"Round six! Which fighter secretly has a life-size plush doll of their mortal enemy?" Star asked.

"That's disturbing." Ike said.

"It's a punching bag..." Wolf said.

"Okay! The score is 2-3!" Pyro said.

"Okay, round seven! Which fighter once went out with their long lost sister?" Star asked.

"I hate you." Fox said.

"Oh wow! That has to suck!" Roy said.

"Round eight! Which fighter is massively obsessed with MLP?" Star asked.

"So sad." Pyro said.

"Me..." Bowser said.

"Bruh, do you even...?" Crazy started and passed out.

"More anesthetics." Master Hand said.

"Round nine! Which fighter once applied for a job at a strip club?" Star asked.

"I hate you..." Sheik said.

"I'm going there after this." Pyro said.

"Round ten! Which fighter is a professional supermodel?" Star asked. "Ganondorf..." He whispered into Pyro's ear and they laughed.

"Round eleven! Which fighter once tried to have sex with the Queen, but got thrown out of the castle when trying to make the advance?" Star asked.

"Fuck you, that was me." Ike said.

"Lol." Marth said.

"OKAY! As much as I'd LOVE to keep embarrassing you guys, Team Phoenix! You have won this challenge!  
Team Amarok! Time to go to the Redemption Smash." Pyro said.

* * *

"Okay, Team Phoenix. You have voted in... Mewtwo." Pyro said. "Why him?"

"Look at him." Mario said. "He's psychic!"

"And Team Amarok... You have voted in Donkey Kong. Why him?" Star asked.

"He is a weak link, who I will crush." Mewtwo said.

"Okay... You have five smash battles each to practice. Then come to fight." Pyro said.

* * *

"Okay... Let's spin the wheel!" Pyro said and spun it. "BANG BANG! You have super scopes, ray guns, and can only use those and projectiles!"

The two clashed and Mewtwo didn't even lose a life. He had 308% damage, but you know.. I'm lazy as hell. :l

"Mewtwo! You have won this Redemption Smash! As for Donkey Kong! You will join Samus in the eliminated cabin." Master Hand replied. "Everyone can now go upstairs to look for the idols, and enjoy other things there like the arcade, the pool, and the strip club! I lied about the last one, but still."

"Aww, damn it!" Pyro said.

"You have a girlfriend." Mewtwo said.

"It doesn't matter how I get my motor running, I just gotta park it in the right garage." Pyro replied.

"... You are going to be a horrible father." Mewtwo said.

* * *

"What will happen next with the contestants? Will our author stop being so damn lazy and actually make this a good story? Will we actually get reviews? Please review btw. :D Find all that out, and more disturbing shit you probably don't wanna know in Chapter 2!" Pyro said.

* * *

Please review, it'll help quite a bit. Thank you for reading this seemingly crappy first chapter to a story!

Also, usually my chapters are 5,000 words, but this one didn't want to cooperate.


End file.
